Sermons
"Under the Bridge"Pastor Ken Hilston John 20:19-31 |
Camus, in his novel length parable of life, "The Fall," shows us a very haunting description when, that at times, thin veil of bravado, gets pulled aside, and exposes who we really are, deep inside, hidden from all others. True, Camus is not that overtly religious, but he uses very liberal allusions to the faith and faith practices.
The parable is about how a man by the name of John Baptiste Clamence, who has all of his assumptions about himself come crashing to the ground. The grand life he declared to the world was exposed as cardboard. In his confessions, he recounts all his great deeds, bragging how he did things for the people life left behind, all done graciously without charge. The people who could count on nothing on their own had him as a defender, a person who sought out lost causes. This is how everyone saw him, and how he saw himself- very humanitarian.
That was all well and good until one day when it was all exposed as sham. He was standing on a bridge overlooking the Seine River in Paris, alone. He hears a woman cry out, and then a splash in the river, and she starts to flow past him in the current. He has but a few moments to act. Does he act in a way he always claimed he did, selflessly? Or does he freeze? Can she be saved? Would he drown also? How well do I swim? What is the right thing to do? There truly was no right or wrong answer to any of these, as often times it is in life
Before he has a chance to go through carefully all of his options, she is gone down the river, beyond him. The action took but a few moments in his life, but it changed forever how he looked at himself and all the grand assumptions he had about himself. No longer could he believe in the outside bravado he portrayed in life. No one else saw it, and no one else saw him freeze. But he did.
His confession was a searing look at not the grand deeds he did, but why he did them. Beneath his public benevolence, he took a deep look at all the selfish motives that crept into his deeds, deeds that propped him up, more than the people he helped. Reading the short novel/parable, was painful, more like a living autopsy of his life where the outsides bore very little resemblance to his insides.
Now the bridge revealing events for Thomas were two. Good Friday exposed Thomas' lack of courage in this world as it is, and Easter exposed his lack of faith. The Good Friday revelation was easier to understand than Easter's.
Good Friday was a deep disappointment, but did not challenge how he looked at life, only exposed his lack of courage. This is what is to be expected in life, those with the power crush those who dream. What's new? The authorities had more power than the disciples and Jesus. Such is life! This time he just lost his nerve.
Good Friday fit very easily into how he looked at life with all of its usual cruelties, tragedies and ugly actions of powerful people. Death made sense. He didn't like it, but it made sense in the world he had grown too accustomed to.
The first Easter Sunday, as well as today in the upper room, Thomas could understand how they would be afraid. Fear was as natural as oxygen. After all, Good Friday seemed to say: "be careful, don't dream, don't get too excited, what you hope for, will crash down mightily upon you." That piece of life was well entrenched in all of their lives.
They gambled on our Lord's ministry and mission, and lost. They all understood the consequences of the faithful response to our now deceased Lord. It's all over. All they can do now is escape with their skin intact, maybe?
Thomas had given it his all, like many modern people. He dove into their enterprise with both feet. He was as excited as any new convert to an organization. He bought into all of it, and realized the risks. When they heard about the impending death of Lazarus, and the danger of being that close to Jerusalem and the great challenge of the nervous officials, Thomas laid it all on the line, probably meaning every word of it at the time, brashly states for all to hear, "let us go that we may die with Him."
Thomas knew the possible cost of going with our Lord to Bethany, but would gladly lead the valiant charge of the disciples into the valley of death. He had a lot of at least, vocal courage. It's a risk, but at times you have to take risks if you want what you are doing to succeed. This was no sure thing. Death and threats were a very real part of life, and Thomas knew it fully and was resigned to it.
Thomas was also not very bashful. When our Lord is about to proclaim to us the great words of faith, "I am the way, the truth and the life," Thomas has no trouble admitting, "I do not know where you are going." Thomas never hid either his faith, or lack of understanding under a bushel. He spoke his mind, opening himself up to possible criticism. He never pretended things were easy or clear or manageable just to make things look good.
He didn't care if he looked like a fool or courageous, he simply spoke his mind, and his mind was clear, " life is gritty and there is nothing you can do about it, except, accept it! Anything else is living in a dream world. If we are going to Bethany, we better be ready to die, period!"
In the Good Friday world of real life, his bravado was exposed as empty. You have to wonder, with that much posturing, promising a little bit of everything, what will happen when life really does challenge those words? Is the insides of that person as strong and reliable and courageous as their outsides proclaim? Will Thomas be able, when the darkness of life he challenges from a distance, arrives fully in his midst?
When push comes to shove, what will happen in this poker game of life when he is called to deliver his dare- devilish actions he so boldly promises? Maybe around the disciples, his bravado was only there to impress our Lord and the other disciples? We don't know!
How many of us, try to impress others with the promises of our lives, how generous, how faithful we will be, how courageous we will be, how steadfastly we will follow through on all that we say and imply? When asked in a group, with others watching what we say or do, how often can we say, "I don't think I can do that," or "that might be asking a lot of me?" No, usually in front of others we like to show off our better side, maybe even the side we just hope we can be, if we are pushed into it.
We all want to look good in front of others. Besides, deep down, most of us think of ourselves as the one who will stand up and be counted when the time comes. Who wants to even admit to ourselves, let alone others, that "I am not trustworthy, I am not someone you can count on, I am not one that will stay with you through thick or thin?"
*He acknowledged totally our brutal world, but was less trusting and believing in our Lord's promises. Death was easier to believe, than our Lord's new life!
Despite how hard was the Good Friday indictment of Thomas, his real bridge revealing event, was not so much the cross, but the resurrection. The cross told him, yes his bravado was only show and his brash promises empty when push came to shove. However, it was the resurrection that forced him to look at life, and especially the faith, in a totally fresh way.
Easter promises us: No longer is it force that rules all of life. No longer is it death that intimidates life. No longer is the grave, the final "no" to life. No longer are locks needed on doors to cower in the corner when we see that we cannot deliver on our promises. No longer is even real bravado, that can be backed up by action, the answer to life's problems and fears.
Easter, the empty tomb, the Lord who invades our fears and hiding places, the peace that still our fears, IS the new life. Fear of the cross was nothing new, for any of them. The new life in the faith, that conquers death is totally new. All the disciples knew they doubted whether their actions could back up their words, but they really didn't know, "can I live a new life in the kingdom, trusting our Lord's gift of life? Can I live a life where the real enemy is not force, but, my lack of faith?
Locking oneself up out of fear is nothing new, and is prudent for the old ways of thinking. Finding a more secure lock is NOT the answer! Finding more courage is not the answer. Having a better battle plan is not the answer. However, trusting that our Lord can bring a peace that passes all understanding, that is new.
If we see this as a Good Friday world, locking your self up securely is most prudent. If it is an Easter world, if we trust that our Lord conquered death, we should be able to pass on to the whole world, that peace that passes all understanding.As John Baptist Clemence had to reevaluate his life after watching the woman pass by, under the bridge, carried on by the currents, Thomas, and all the disciples, and us, have to reevaluate our lives after that Easter power that gives new life to us all. Our question: can we give up our death hold on this Good Friday world and how this world works? Or, can we embrace God's Easter world? DO we see a Good Friday world, or an Easter world?
Easter tells us, even when we lock ourselves in from the world, huddling around our fears, our mistakes, our callous behavior, our cowardice, not only can our Lord find us in our best hiding places, He can provide for us His peace that passes all understanding, even if He has to barge in uninvited, unexpected, and unwanted.
As we all know deep down inside, not only for Thomas, but all the disciples, and ourselves, Good Friday exposes our lack of courage, but Easter exposes our lack of faith, and personally I believe, Easter for us is the greater embarrassment. Amen